I've often pondered the strange idea of oneness. Of all the mysteries of marriage, oneness strikes me as the deepest and most beautiful. So deep and beautiful, in fact, that for many years, I knew (or thought I knew) that my wife, Karen, and I didn't have oneness in our marriage.

Think about it: 90 percent of life is filled with mundane tasks, such as changing dirty diapers, cleaning up countless spills, paying the bills, going to the grocery store, filling the gas tank. And many men and women have financial obligations that require them to work in deadly dull jobs.

Waking groggily, I felt Jane roll toward me and put an arm on my shoulder. Taking this as a cue, I started to kiss her. "Stop!" Jane said as she rolled away.

"You look so cute in the morning," I said, hoping for a response. But she only moved farther away.

"How come you're not interested anymore?" I pleaded.

Sharon plopped onto the couch and sighed. "Derek came home last night, took one look at the living room, and said, 'Honey, what do you do all day? This place is a mess!' But I did clean. It's just that the kids messed it up again while I was making dinner. And what's worse is that instead of offering to help, Derek went into the bedroom—where he piled his clothes onto a chair—then came back out and parked himself in front of the TV for the rest of the evening."

I was raised in a family where keeping your weight under control was important. When Helen and I got married, she worked hard to keep her weight down. But that changed after she had our third child. Helen, only 5'2", had gotten heavy and had developed Type 2 diabetes. She had a habit of eating when she felt stressed.

Listen to each other's problems without trying to solve them. Practice reassuring each other. For example, when Helen has difficulty with her diet, I listen and say,

I was their last resort. Kurt and Mary (not their real names) called me in the middle of an argument.

"Dr. Anderson, you have to come and help us," Mary said angrily. After talking with her briefly, I was afraid if I didn't show up, their argument would result in domestic violence!

Okay, we all know we should forgive—after all, that's what Christ commands us to do. But how exactly do we forgive? MP went to Everett L. Worthington Jr., executive director of the Templeton Foundation's Campaign for Forgiveness Research, to find out.

He's been named "America's Pastor," and in a recent national survey was ranked one of the most widely known and respected Christian authors, second only to Billy Graham. He has sold more than 39 million books, including his most recent Come Thirsty (Thomas Nelson), most of which center on our relationship with God and the forgiveness/love/grace connection.